try not to get too close

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Thu, 02 Dec 2004 21:20:15 GMT

It's been a pretty crummy day so far. Well..a pretty crummy week altogether. I've been sick since Monday and finally went back to school today and wanted to call home like...every period. Finally 11th period(Economics)i went to the nurse and slept for like 25 minutes till the bell rang and i made my merry way to math. Then the day ended, took my shit for the weekend cuz i don't have to go in tomorrow! =D it's a half day and i have... a study hall, two classes in which everyone is taking a test but i can't cuz i haven't been there and the other class(Journalism) is basically a study hall cuz we never do ANYTHING, we haven't in like..a month, aside assignments that are mad easy, and besides..no one is gonna be there anyway. So i get to stay out later tonight and sleep in. Oh the joys of having an awesome mommy. I had to call outta work twice this week, thats 8 hours of no pay =( but it's alright i was sick blah blah blah i had to rest. Rest..heh..i never really knew what an insomniac felt like till two nights ago. i Just lay there...staring..and aside passing out for 15 minutes before my Doctor's appointment, i was awake about 30 hours straight..see i know there are people, some i probably even know that have done so much more...but it's unlike me, i usually can't even function like that, but i was really just wide awake. So i better get ready for work now. Seth's pickin me up at 9 and i get to go back to his house and chill with the guys at practice and i get to see Jordan! then Bri is takin me home later. then i get to take off tomorrow. then i chill wit andy like i promiseddd =) and then the show is tomorrow night! and bri visited me earlier so i'm in a better mood now i guess...still...4 hours of work ahead of me..but that goes by quick! i actually wanted to make this entry about something to do with the holidays and yet another reason why i can't wait till they are over...but i guess for now, we'll leave this with a happy ending. i get to be with my boys tonight, day off and andy tomorrow, then an AWESOME show tomorrow night. AOH 7-11, everyone go. =)

=)

arlene is tight.

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 06:40:20 GMT

arlene is tight.

eeeeeeeeee

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 07:59:43 GMT

it's most likely foolish of me to feel the way i do. but through trial and error i'm much smarter than i used to be. i'm so happy.

work wasn't so bad today. only five hours. i woke up at stina's...arlenes mommy brought me home...got ready as fast as i could (couldnt shower arrgghh) and went to work. wasn't bad at all, busy just about every minute of it, even wasted about 20 minutes cleaning up a jar of pizza sauce i dropped...damn it's hard to clean up pizza sauce with paper towels, lol. so then midge takes me and xusana home (yes its spelled with an x..im pretty sure, anyway lol) and i was supposed to go to midge's aunts with her but i really didn't feel like rushing, my feet hurt from the stupid boots and i wanted to just relax and take a nice hot shower. so, although she was kinda sad, i had to tell midge no. i gotta start doin stuff for me and not others..so anyway, got home, went online, had a WONDERFUL conversation with olivia. meh..showered, and next thing i know Rob Lord is callin me telling me him and Humphrey wanna hang out, of course i miss them so i say yes. first katina visits we chill n talk for a little then seth humps and rob got here and i finished gettin ready and we all left. katina went to hang wit someone while me rob bri and seth went to get arlene and i freed marley yayyy...anyway, haha. we went to seths and then this kid doug shows up then doug rob and bri leave and andy calls and me seth andy n arlene went to the brightstar where we saw kristina smith and her boyfriend, rachels bro, matt, he seems cool. so anyway seth brings arlene home, me and andy chat for a little, seth comes back, then andy leaves and me and seth go to my house to chill for a little bit. he rubbed my feet cuz they were hurting real bad(i love him), stupid boots..but its okay i made his feet warm and rubbed his neck cuz it was hurting. i gotta remember to request off for friday, if i cant then fuck it, im just not going. The Zach Show is so much more important than work. i don't care what anyone says. i am so tired, but i'm like..too giddy to sleep. and i have to be up in like...6 or 7 hours. BAH, oh well, i'll eat a nice breakfast. i'm gonna wash up for bed. i is happy.

-nettieeeee =)

p.s.-i don't get any comments =( and i made it public too, and i still don't get any...hm...
yada yada yadaaaaaa i'm gonna pass out

Williams-Sonoma bitchhh

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 05:12:09 GMT

i like work. =) they say i'll get bored...buuuttt, i think retail is a very nice little job for someone with such ocd. haha, there are just days when i like everything perfect..especailly if its my job, it hink i'll be fine. register is good too, makes the work day go faster. thanks justin for training me and making the first day awesome. bastard has off on black friday and i have to work from 4 to 11! which means im closing! but that's okay, it's gonna be sooo busy so there most likely won't be a dull moment from the time i get there till the time i have to leave. perfect. =)

i dunno i feel really good...but something feels off. i hate that. when there is this little tiny something in you telling you something isn't gonna be okay. oh well. for the time being i'm alright. i'm glad i finally have a job. seasonal...but it counts and it'll be for a while. ew i have gym tomorrow...

well now that i ignored this entry for almost an hour and did my article for journalism...i'm finishing this up and going to sleep. i wanna put my eye brow ring back in but im too tired...but i dont wanna wear my stupid retainer to school...ugghh, only bad part of job..i love my eye brow ring too much to let the whole close, so i gotta deal with switchin it whenever i gotta work. oh well, sleepy time.

Nettie <3

and when the storms gone i'm all torn up inside

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 06:15:45 GMT

...tonight was...a bit like last night....everything i thought i would be doing..turned to be the complete opposite. last night i was supposed to chill wit hilel at ambers till midge got outta work...then we were gonna go back to hilel's with some other kids to have movie night and all crash there, i was so excited...well to make a long story (that i had to have already told about 20 times) short..me and midge got stuck at home and her mother told her she had to go home at like 11. So midge went home and i thought i was staying in until Bri finally called me back and said him seth and mike were gonna come visit me. of course this made me happy. we jus chilled in seth's car in my driveway for about 20 minutes then i took a ride with seth to drop off mike ande bri then seth brought me home and he went home. I was so happy, they make me so happy. I even wrote a myspace blog about it...but..now..I don't know. Brian offered to pick me up from maries today and take me over to band practice with him and i had planned on goin to this practice for a few days now and Seth even heard him..he OFFERED. so then i wound up not having a ride to rie's and called bri at around 6 to let him know i wasn't there, that i was still home. well, in the middle of me getting ready, Dave..oh my FAAAAVORITE person..(*extreme sarcasm for all those who don't already know*)calls and says in one of those obnoxious tones that "brian's taxi" is currently out of service and all of the drivers are busy so i'll just have to deal with it...so instead of arguing and getting all upset right away, i said that it was fine..its all good, i can deal. and he jus said ok good and we hung up...i hoped it was a joke and he would call back shortly..but there was no phone call..so i called seth and he said that he didn't understand it either, that bri OFFERED to take me. He told me not to worry though, that he'd make bri come and get me once he got to seths...but i told him not to start a fight, cuz if brian really didnt want to get me, then to just leave it alone. then he said he'd call me back once bri got there. then charlie called..and told me that him juliet and hilel were going to the mall and were gonna chill and that i should really come and so i called seth back and i told him i might as well just accept my offer because dave will most likely be there and he bothers me and seth felt really bad but he understood. at first i was really happy when i was with hilel charlie and midge..but..i just found myself sitting there sad wishing i was watching them play..and now i'm crying like a stupid retard cuz i let myself get like this, but i guess the only real explanation is..if someone can have such an effect as to make me as happy as i felt last night...then it only makes sense for them to be able to make you just as sad as they have made you happy...it makes perfect sense. you can't have one without the other. i just didn't know it would be the very next night that i would be feeling the very complete opposite...i wouldn't be surprised if bri tells me later that it was a joke, that he came to get me or that he was still going to. i don't even care. its bullshit, don't fuck with someone's head that has been fucked with enough. sometimes jokes are just plain stupid and now i had the opportunity to sleep at andys and hang with kristen when she got home from this concert she went to but i decide i'd rather sit at home and type this and sit here and wait for an explanation as to why my night turned out like this. i wanna know why i can't just be happy and stay happy. i used to be mad when it wouldnt last for more than a week and now i cant even get a day...a fucking day? and don't leave me comments telling me how you find happiness within yourself, blah blah blah it's all bullshit. i am very happy with myself. with my grades, with my weight loss, with my family, but you can't help how people make you feel in certain situations. this is so stupid. i am mad at myself for getting mad about this. i wish i could help it. oh and i love charlie and all but every time we hang out i come home with the worst headaches. ugh..i wish i was tired so i could just pass out. today is so bad...and my mom is drinking and dancing with all her sisters having such a good time..i wish i was with them..i miss her =( but i'm happy that she's having a good time...she deserves a good time.

that's enough.
</3 oh but one more thing..you usually have to call for a taxi. they don't offer rides. thanks.

vintage

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 23:28:48 GMT

aaaaahhh, alright for some ODD reason, the past day or so i've had Taproot-Poem in my head. in case of fiiire break the glass..like wtf...who cares about that song? haha random. anyway. so yeah, today i had my interview at William Sonoma. good shit. pretty sure i am going to have a job for the holidays. woo =) the chic Bonnie interviewing me..so nice. and i got to see my Crustin so that was sweet as well. I'm finally back to normal. I know what i feel and i know what i don't. i have an 87 average i am starting to lose weight again. things seem to be going well. I am excited for the Zach show. It's in about two weeks and Seth Mike n Bri have a pretty sick line-up: Southcott, Ordinary Heros, Next II Nothing, Alison Model One, Jetting West, and FPA(obviously.) After that, hopefully Seth already talked to his mother about it and he's still gonna be allowed to go(cuz his grades were kinda bad) but he said we are going to the Radio City Christmas show together and i am soooo excited like beyond happy about that. Even if it turns out to be gay or..not for us, or whatever, i don't care. I have wanted to do something like that around Christmastime and there is no other person i'd rather do it with. So I is a happy Jeanette and i am now waiting for Kristeenn to get here. i have no idea what we are doing. im supposed to be chillin wit hilel and then at ambers wit him till midge got off work then we were goin back to hilels to have movie night wit some other cool kids and crash there...but a friend of his called and he had to go to the city for the kid's birthday..meh, gay..but it's only right, and hopefully he'll get back in time so we can still sleep there and watch movies and stuff. that'll be awesome. =) but if not tonight then maybe tomorrow night, who knows? not i. this is the first night in like... 4 days in which i am happy during the night. i think cuz i finally broke myself outta the mini depression i thought i was slipping into again. i fought it. and i got up for school and i did my work and went to the interview today. i must say i am pretty darn proud of myself. im glad i took my sat's...wonder if the scores are in yet...yay kristen's here! im gonna go entertain her and myself! me and bri are closer again and that also makes me happy im so happy hes back in the band, i have my real fpa back. yayyy =D

-nettie(and kristen)

ugh

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 05:11:03 GMT

today was...weird. and so was last night. i don't feel like myself at all lately. one moment i am so happy, so high on everything then im just extremely low and i feel like i have no one. the one person making me feel like a person, making me feel beautiful in every way possible..i think my feelings toward him are changing and it hurts cuz i don't know what i feel. i feel like i can't feel at times and that hurts so bad. school was alright but then sad cuz Justin was absent but he was there at the end of the day and that was when i was at my happiest. <3 For some reason it feels like my heart is being ripped out but not just a passing moment, like a long lasting pain. make it go away....=(

i love jen giudice

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 00:21:33 GMT

alright. i finally got a livejournal. so many people have been telling me to get one but i jus stuck to blurty cuz i didn't really care. a journal's a journal right. then i found myself staring at a screen which read "Friends Only" as i tried to get into my friends' business. This angered me. So thank you Jen for making it pretty. Just the way i wanted it. =) i <3 you. maybe i'll post more later but for now this shall do.

-nettie